When I reached the hospital, my hands shook so badly that I had to sign the visitor form slowly enough for my name to resemble my own.
Ellen met me in the lobby.
The instant I saw her, I knew she belonged to Margaret.
She had her mother’s eyes exactly.
The same wide, thoughtful shape.
The same way of looking directly at someone while somehow pushing through her own fear to do what needed to be done.
“Yes, this is me.”
She nodded.
Then, to my surprise, she stepped forward and hugged me.
“She’ll be glad you’re here,” she whispered.
Margaret was awake when I entered the room.
She looked small and pale.
For one terrible second, I saw only the illness.
The sharp lines of her face.
The blanket pulled too high.
The wires.
The unnatural stillness.
Then she turned her head, recognized me, and managed a smile.
It was her.
Older, yes.
Fragile in a way that frightened me immediately.
But still Margaret.
Still the girl who had laughed in the rain at nineteen and kissed me behind a grocery store.
The sight nearly undid me.
I moved to her bedside and took her hand with great care, as though fifty years could bruise between us.
“I came as fast as I could.”
“I know.”
I sat there for a long time without speaking.
I simply looked at her and let the impossible truth of her presence settle inside me.
Her eyes filled.
Then mine did too.
Suddenly, we were both old and crying like people in mourning.
“I thought I might miss you,” I finally said.
“You almost did,” she replied, smiling faintly.
Later that afternoon, the doctor asked to speak with Ellen and me in the hallway.
His words were gentle.
So gentle that I understood before he finished that they would not rescue us.
They could keep Margaret comfortable.
They could give her a little time.
But not much.
Perhaps days.
A week, if we were fortunate.
